Life as we imagine
by Shopaholicteen666
Summary: What would have happened if Ryan had been adopted into the family much earlier?
1. Default Chapter

**Author's Note: **Now I know that is kind of a weird story. But stick with me on this one. I'm not sure what I think of the idea so if you think it's that bad I won't continue just drop me a review! Hope you like it!

Kirsten didn't like to admit it but as much as she had gotten away from her Newport self there would always be part of that girl in her. No matter how much she tried to run from it. Which she figured now as she walked into the nursery, if you could call it that, at their house in Berkley. Looking at the two barley half a year old babies lying in their cribs that took up practically the whole room she thanked god for the spoiled brat in her.

It was good that she had gotten everything she wanted from her parents, particularly her dad, and knew every way in the book to get it. It was also lucky that Sandy was not immune to her sweetness when she wanted to be yet. I mean what sane man in the world goes with his wife to the hospital to give birth to their baby, and comes back with two, especially the fact that one wasn't theirs.

Her name was Dawn that was really all he had known about her. Except for the fact that she shared a room with Kirsten during the time that she was in the hospital. Dawn had given birth to a baby the same day as Kirsten, only half an hour apart. Kirsten had been bored and lonely, what with Sandy at work all the time, and had turned to Dawn for companionship. From their time spent together Kirsten learned that Dawn was giving up her new baby for adoption as soon as she left the hospital. Kirsten hadn't meant to fall in love with Dawn's baby, it had just happened. She hadn't even had to ask Sandy, he had known that she loved their kid , there was no doubt of that, but she had fallen in love with the baby with the incredible blue eyes and the blonde tuffs of hair.

Sandy had been great about it, getting lawyer friends and calling in favors making sure that this baby became theirs. Kirsten reasoned that her role model Carol Brady had basically adopted her husbands boys, so it was okay for her to adopt someone's kid. So now they had two boys the exact same age and no way to explain it. People had commented about how beautiful their twins were and Kirsten had just agreed. Slowly it became that Ryan and Seth Cohen were twins…..

"I don't want to move!" Seth cried at the top of his three-year-old lungs as Kirsten buckled him in his car seat.

"Me neither!" Ryan cried just as loudly trying to escape his own.

"Come on guys, you'll love Newport!" Sandy said hoping that he sounded convincing. He was having his own doubts. This was for Kirsten because her mom was dying, Sandy wasn't a big fan of Caleb himself but he could deal with Ann. In fact he understood why Kirsten loved Ann so much. So even though he loved Berkley he was willing to make Newport their home for now.

"You guys will love seeing Grandpa and Grandma, and you can make new friends,"

"Grandpa is scary," Seth mumbled and Sandy laughed, at least until Kirsten shot him a dirty look.

"You like Grandpa right Ryan?" Kirsten asked Ryan didn't say anything just shook his head quickly. "Well don't tell him that alright?" Ryan looked at him mother warily but nodded. "How about you Seth?" Seth shook his head.

"That's right son," Sandy said grinning at Seth.

"Me? Right too?" Ryan asked in confusion, Sandy grinned at him too.

"Yes son your right too," Sandy said and turned back to the road. The rode in silence for a while, before Sandy finally broke it. "So honey are you almost ready to start working for the devil? You know it's not good to see your soul to him"

"That devil is my father," Kirsten hissed trying not to wake up Seth and Ryan who were sleeping in the backseat.

"So? He's still the devil,"

"Come on Sandy! You're not going to act like this around him are you?"

"I don't know forever is a pretty long time to be on my best behavior,"

"Sandy!" Kirsten said in a hushed shriek

"Kirsten!"

"What?"

"I don't know you were the one that called my name first, "

"Uggh!" Kirsten cried in annoyance but just turned and stared out the window. She was going to take the high road. Sandy smiled and grabbed her hand. Kirsten didn't react, but Sandy knew that he was slowly making sure that she wasn't mad. Because if he had Seth, Ryan and Kirsten mad about him about this move well that would just be one triple whammy. A triple whammy in Sandy's book was definitely not a good thing. The annoying part of traveling with three year olds who need to use the bathroom every hour was that they wanted McDonalds every time they saw it. Sandy was starting to think that that was the reason for having so many fast food restaurants, little hungry boys.

"Look!" Kirsten cried pointing to a sign that said welcome to Newport Beach.

"What does it say Mommy?" Seth cried trying to understand what him mom was so excited about. He craned his neck trying to figure it out as they drove past it. "Ryan!" he finally cried in despair. A very tired and grumpy Ryan just let out a sob. Kirsten sighed.

"Seth leave Ryan alone, he's tired," she answered. Ryan had been sobbing for the last twenty minutes and had only just stopped, until Seth had disrupted that. Ryan sobbed harder as they drove into the gated community, still sobbing as they finally drove into the driveway of their new house. Seth on the other hand was bouncing up and down in his seat.

"Where are we? Is this home? Can I have my own room? Can I get a horse? Can it live in the backyard? No…no…can it live in my room? Sleep in my bed?" Seth rambled loudly still bouncing.

"Seth no! You can't have a horse for the millionth time!" Kirsten said in exasperation

"But captain oats needs a friend!"

"Seth, sweetie I'm sure that your plastic toy needs a friend but I don't think a real one will work,"

"Please mommy!"

"We'll talk about it later Seth,"

"But mommy!"

"You heard your mother Seth, now stop. Ryan please stop," Sandy finally yelled at his blonde son and Ryan to his surprise actually did, a look of total surprise at being yelled on his face. "God I'm sorry," sandy said instantly regretting it. He knew that they were all irritated and upset from the six hour drive from Berkley but he shouldn't of yelled at him.

"Daddy didn't mean it Ryan, sweetheart," Kirsten said as she unbuckled him from his car seat. Ryan was starring at them as if they were crazy. Ryan's lip came out slowly in a pout and his eyes welled up with tears. Kirsten thought fast.

"Hey sweetie, you want to go see your new room again?"

"No!" Ryan cried he was tired and was really not in the mood to act cheery.

"Me?" Seth piped up from the backseat.

"Sure why not," his mother answered in a happy way to cheery voice. Ryan just stared at her. He was good at that stare, and Kirsten had only ever seen it before on one person. His mother, his real mother. Maybe that's why she spent so much time getting him to be happy, because it meant the less she had to see that stare. "Hey Ryan how about you watch a movie with Seth while Daddy and I get dinner?" Ryan contemplated that idea and then smiled. Kirsten grinned back at him, it takes a true mom to make their kid smile when their that unhappy she thought to her self. Dawn was just the person who had given Kirsten the best gift in the world, her son.

"Maybe" Ryan finally said his wet cheeks the only remains of his last breakdown. He seemed to be totally all right with the idea of just forgetting the fact that two seconds ago he was crying, sobbing really. "Ok" he said as Kirsten lifted him out of his seat. Sandy held Seth and Kirsten held Ryan and together the four of them made their way into the mansion that they were now about to start calling home.

"Well we're certainly not in Berkley anymore," Sandy said as he walked back into the kitchen where Kirsten was sitting at the counter. He had just put Ryan and Seth in their beds after a long time of trying to convince them that even though they were not in the same room they would be okay.

"Real funny, Sandy, real funny. Why don't you just start singing a rendition of follow the yellow brick road?" Kirsten said with a smile wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

"Okay if that's what you want honey," Sandy said and started singing in a loud voice.

"God Sandy!" Kirsten said slapping him lightly on the chest.

"Aw honey you wound me," Sandy said pretending to be hurt.

"Funny is definitely not your middle name Sandy so just stop. How are the boys doing?"

"Seth is fine, by the time I was finished making sure that Ryan was okay, he was sleeping like a baby"

"He is so your son,"

"Yes," was all Sandy said before continuing, "But Ryan took forever to get to sleep. I think he needs a captain oats,"

"Sandy remember Ryan had a plastic horse but he hated it,"

"Oh that's right, wasn't that their Christmas present last year?"

"Yes, you picked it" Kirsten said in a mocking tone

"I forgot,"

"What are you old or something?"

"Nah, being around you just makes me forget things,"

"Is that a compliment or an insult Sandy Cohen?"

"I believe it was an attempt at a compliment Mrs. Cohen," Sandy said leaning down to kiss his wife and even after all these years he still took her breath away.

"Whose that Daddy?" A tiny voice said and Kirsten head snapped up, breaking the kiss.

"Whose who sweetheart?" Kirsten said bending down to pick up Ryan.

"Daddy called someone something,"

"What did I call that person?" Sandy asked confused

"Something where the first name was Mrs."

"Oh Mrs. Cohen?" Kirsten asked with a smile

"Mmmhhmmm" Ryan said laying his head on his mother's shoulder.

"That's me," Kirsten said hiding back her laugh.

"Uh-uh, no way,"

"Yes, that's your mom's name," Sandy said wondering what was going through the small kids mind.

"No!" Ryan cried with determination "She's Mommy," Sandy and Kirsten burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Seth's tired voice said as he appeared in the kitchen rubbing his eyes. Sandy groaned as he picked up his other son.

"Come on let's get you guys to bed," Sandy said

"No!" Ryan cried burying his head in Kirsten's shoulder.

"Fine do you want to sleep together?" Sandy asked tentatively. He was trying to make it so they were not interdependent on each other. But he was tired, Kirsten was tired and they boys were tired. It just made sense to let them sleep in the same room together. Ryan and Seth cheered and high fived one another. They jumped out of their parents arms and race upstairs.

"Sandy," Kirsten said groaning. They had agreed a long time ago that at some point they had to separate the two of them.

"Kirsten, wait fifteen minutes, then go up there. Tell me that when you look at them up there all happy and content it doesn't make your heart break. Tell me that you'd rather them be alone then be together, because at some point honey they'll have to separate but until then I think I can live with it. Can you?" Sandy asked then kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going to go up and take a shower, before you come up to bed, just look in on them alright?"

"Sure,"

"Great, good-night," Sandy said and kissing his wife on the forehead he headed upstairs. Kirsten watched the minutes on the clock tick by wondering what was so important that she had to go upstairs. She sipped her coffee and looked at the refrigerator doors. They were already covered with pictures that Ryan and Seth had made, both in nursery school and at home. It had been the first thing they had unpacked. Kirsten especially loved the huge one that the two of them had made her for mother's day. It was so large it had to be made vertical, but until she got around to frame it and put somewhere she was content with it like that. It had two messy blue handprints with their names under it and then they had drawn their family. The picture wasn't a Picasso, and she had no hope at least at the moment that either would become the next Mozart of art, but in her eyes it was perfect. Kirsten tore her eyes from the picture and put her mug in the sink, and slowly made her way up the stairs.

She opened the door of Seth's room as quietly as possible and waited while her eyes adjusted. The two of them were laying on the bed, their heads touching their face with just the hint of a smile. Kirsten closed the door of the room and felt the same small smile on her own face. Climbing into her bed she reached for Sandy's hand. Holding it she whispered softly to him.

"Your right Sandy. I think we made the right choice," They both knew it had too meanings. The meaning of bringing Ryan to live with them so many years ago and the meaning of letting them sleep in the same bed.

It had been two weeks since they had first moved to Newport. Everyone, including Sandy was starting to slowly adjust. Especially Seth and Ryan since they had a new friend. Her name was Marissa Jane Cooper. She was their neighbor. Which is fine in itself but the fact that her dad was Jimmy, Kirsten's first love, made it slightly weird. But not weird enough that she would take her kids away from their friend, it was better for her feelings stay out of it. So she had gotten good at making sure that Seth, Ryan and Marissa played a lot. Which was the reason that she was sitting outside by their pool with Julie Cooper watching the kids play. They weren't in the pool, they were just playing hide in seek but it was better that they watched them.

"So tell me Kirsten, what was it like to give birth to twins? I can barley imagine it, just having Marissa was hell," Julie said and Kirsten's breath caught in her throat. Was this woman on to her secret? Did she know? What was her dad and mom going to say when they got word of this? Kirsten took a deep breath and realized that Julie was just making small talk, she had no idea what the truth was.

"It was not as bad as you would think, besides I like the fact that I got them both born in one shot. Mean's I'll probably never have to do it again,"

"Lucky you, you know men think they're the strong species. Ha! Have they ever had to give birth to a child?" Julie said laughing and Kirsten joined her. Suddenly Kirsten felt something under her lawn chair. She muffled a scream and jumped up. Looking under she found Seth laying on his stomach his finger to his lip. Putting her hand on her heart in an attempt to steady it Kirsten sat back down.

"Then again, at least you only have one to deal with,"

"True," Julie said fingering her ring. She looked around and for the first time noticed how quiet it was. "Where's the kids?" she asked her voice slightly panicky

"Seth sweetheart, where are Marissa and Ryan?" Kirsten asked in a whispered

"I don't know?" he asked wondering if that was the right answer. Kirsten shook her head, it was definitely not. "Don't tell Marissa," he finally said and she nodded. "Ryan's in the play house," he said.

"What play house?" Kirsten asked wrinkling her nose

"The little house," Seth said pointing to the pool house.

"Oh and where is Marissa?"

"In the pool house too,"

"Okay, you want to get them and we'll have a snack?"

"Yes!" Seth cried hurriedly getting out his hiding place and heading towards the pool house at a run.

"Your such a natural Kirsten,"

"A natural with what?"

"Being a mother," Julie said with a smile picking up her drink as she followed Kirsten inside.

"What do you think they would want as a snack?" Kirsten asked in an attempt to change the conversation topic.

"What would your boys like?"

"Cookie and captain crunch, their two favorite foods,"

"Not together right?"

"Probably when they're with Sandy, he just can't say no, but not when they're with me"

"Jimmy's the same way with Marissa,"

"Men," Kirsten said hoping that Julie hadn't seen her face when Jimmy had been brought up.

"Can't live with them, can't live without them,"

"Defenitly, aha! Chocolate chip cookies!"

"Mmmm!" Julie said

"You want?"

"No way, too many calories! Besides I was being sarcastic"

"I guess I should have known that after all my husband is the king of sarcasm. Do you want anything else? "

"No thanks, I ate just before I came,"

"All right, let me just call everyone in," Kirsten said going to the door. "Seth! Ryan! Marissa! Come on in, snack time." Then in a quieter voice she added "god I feel like a pre-school teacher,"

"Welcome to my world," Julie added with a laugh. Kirsten was surprised at how much even though she hated Julie for taking Jimmy, that she could understand why he loved her. She was one of the first nice people she knew that lived in Newport.

"Mommy help!" Ryan cried running in and hiding behind Kirsten.

"What's wrong?" Kirsten asked a little bit of worry creeping into her voice.

"We were playing tag," he started "and I missed Marissa,"

"Okay?" Kirsten asked the worry-gone confusion now re-placing it.

"Then she started singing this song,"

"What song?" Julie asked

"uh I don't know,"

"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me," Marissa and Seth walked into the kitchen singing. Julie and Kirsten groaned simultaneously.

"Marissa!"

"Seth!"

"What?" the two three year olds answered

"Never mind, just come eat your snack," Kirsten said and motioned to the cookies on the table.

"Is there meat in this?" Marissa asked wrinkling her nose.

"No, why?"

"I'm a vegetarian I do not eat meat,"

"Oh ok sweetheart I'll remember that," Kirsten said "But no there's no meat"

"Good," Marissa said and dug in with as much vengeance as the boys to the cookies. Cookies and milk were a great way to start a friendship.

After the snack Kirsten walked Julie and Marissa to the door. Ryan and Seth had mumbled a good bye and then ran upstairs to play.

"Well this was fun," Kirsten said to Julie as Marissa tugged on her mom's arm.

"Yes, definitely," Julie said returning Kirsten's smile.

"We should do it again sometime soon,"

"I agree"

"Great," Kirsten said and as she watched Julie and Marissa walk down the driveway she watched the mailman walk up.

"Here you go," he said handing her a bundle of mail. Kirsten smiled and with a wave he left. Kirsten flipped through the mail, bills, bills, a letter from the nana, and then Kirsten's breath caught in her throat. Sandwiched between another bill and the letter from the nana was a letter. With messy childish handwriting on the upper left corner was the words _Dawn Atwood._ Kirsten fell to the floor in shock.

**Author's Note: **I know that I made Julie nice in this story but I figured that when she just came from riverside she couldn't be that terrible yet, right? Oh well don't worry Julie Cooper can't be nice forever. Everyone knows that. Hope you enjoyed it more to come soon, I have winter break starting on Thursday so I'll have plenty of time to get an update it soon.


	2. and what a wonderful birthday this is

**Disclaimer**: Uh….You know… I wish I did but I don't…don't sue me…sue my parents instead!

**Author's Note:** Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all the reviews everyone they really made my day!

Seth galloped Captain Oats across his bed; he was pretending that it was an open field. That's where Marissa had told him that horses liked to play, and well Seth believed her. She said that was why he couldn't have a horse come and stay at their house, and Marissa had her own horse so he believed her. Seth was wondering if maybe Captain Oats should live outside too, the thought heartbreaking to him, when her heard it. It was a loud thud and Seth sat still for a moment, he knew that if it were Ryan soon enough he would hear his cries. But there were no cries to be heard, instead there was utter and complete silence. Seth wrinkled his nose in confusion and walked out of the room, careful to leave captain oats on the bed so he could enjoy his pretend field. Walking towards the steps he tired to figure out what the sound was. He saw what is was as he got halfway down the stairs.

"Mommy?" he cried his voice panicky, as he sat down on the steps too afraid to see her. He wasn't sure what to make of her sitting on the floor. He had seen her angry at him plenty of times, had seen her frustrated, had seen her happy, had even seen her cry once when she got that phone call from grandma, but he had never seen her helpless. Because laying there on the floor, that's exactly what she looked liked. There was no answer and Seth felt himself panicking. "Mommy? Mommy?"

"Seth?" a quiet voice answered barley above a whisper

"Mommy?" Seth cried running down the rest of the stairs. He hugged Kirsten unsure of what was wrong, but knowing that he had to comfort her. She barley reacted, just leaned into him. "Are you…okay?"

"I…" Kirsten was about to say that she wasn't but she then failed because in reality she didn't know how she was. She could see Seth's wide eyes, could feel the thin envelope still in her hand, and could practically hear her quick heartbeat. Seth just kept his arms around her and they sat there for a long time. It wasn't until Ryan walked down that Kirsten was finally brought out of her state of mind.

"Mommy? Seth?" he called down wondering why the house was so quiet. Kirsten closed her eyes, he was her child not Dawn's. Dawn had no meaning to Ryan and she was just the person that brought him into the world. Kirsten, was his mother, Dawn was his carrier.

"Yes sweetie? We're down here," Kirsten answered finding her voice.

"Okay, can I have juice?"

"Sure do you want me to get it for you?" Kirsten asked picking up Seth as she stood up and dropping the letter. She left it on the floor, there was no reason for her to pick it up now, she and Sandy would deal with it when he got home.

"Okay," Ryan said and then stopped eyeing her suspiciously "Why were you on the floor?"

"Mommy was just feeling a little sad sweetheart," Kirsten said leaning down and kissing Ryan's forehead. "Come on lets go get something," she said and the three of them headed into the kitchen. Between getting Ryan and Seth to nap, preparing dinner (otherwise known as ordering pizza) and calling her mom to get a daily update, Kirsten basically forgot about the letter. In fact it wasn't until Sandy arrived home and found it that she remembered. Ryan and Seth were playing with their toys in the living room while Kirsten set the table, when Sandy walked in his face visibly upset.

"What's wrong Sandy?"

"Honey, what's this?" he asked his voice panicky, holding out the white envelope.

"Oh god," Kirsten answered her face paling two shades.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't know what to make of it, I just wanted it to go away,"

"Come on Kirsten you use to see her when you went walking with the boys in Berkley!"

"Yes but we never talked this is different Sandy,"

"Kirsten's she's Ryan's…" Sandy stopped suddenly afraid that Ryan or Seth might hear. He didn't finish his sentence.

"No I'm his mother," Kirsten said her voice low and shaking.

"Yes but…"

"No buts, give it to me," Kirsten said grabbing it out of his hand and forcefully opening it. The letter fell on the table and they both grabbed for it. Kirsten was quicker and opened it, scanning it quickly.

_Dear Sandy and Kirsten,_

_It's probably coming as a shock to hear from me now, especially after so many years of nothing. I've had your address forever and for some reason I felt compelled the other day to drive by your house. I didn't realize until later that it was the day I found out I was pregnant with Ryan. There were other people in the house and when one came out I got up the courage to ask about you. I figured that if they said you lived there I didn't have to do anything about. The man said that you had moved, and was nice enough to give me your address. I'm leaving Berkley at the end of this year, and heading home, wherever that is. I miss seeing Ryan around town, I was wondering if at some point you could write me a letter about how he's doing and send a picture. If you don't want to I understand, but after I leave it will be the only way I will ever remember him. I hope that this isn't upsetting you too much. I'm sure you guys are much better parents than Roger and I ever would have been._

DAWN ATWOOD 

Kirsten sighed in relief. That wasn't as bad as she would have thought, and she even smiled a little bit as she passed it to Sandy. Sandy wasn't so sure.

"Kirsten she knows where we live! She can come back at any time!"

"So? She has nothing on us, we're his parent's Sandy!"

"I'm not worried about them taking him away, I'm worried about the truth," Sandy screamed, then lowered his voice "Unless you want everyone to know?" Kirsten's eyes widened

"Sandy! No! Of course not!"

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Maybe we should send her what she wants and ask her to leave us alone,"

"I don't know honey, is that too much of a risk? What about just ignoring it?"

"That's too much of a risk! I can't deal with this now, I'm going out!" Kirsten cried getting more agitated by the moment. "You can get the boys dinner" she called back and without a backwards glance she slammed the front door on her way out. Fishing the keys out of her pocket Kirsten got in the car, she needed some time to think.

Sandy let out a muffled scream and buried his face in his hands. He wanted to run away too, but when he looked at the two little boys staring up at him their faces a mixture of confusion and innocence, he knew that at the moment only one of them was aloud to act like a child.

"So boys who feels like pizza?" he asked mustering up as much enthusiasm as possible.

"Are you and mommy fighting?" Ryan asked sticking his thumb in his mouth while he said the words. "Are you getting a divorce?" Sandy wasn't sure which was scarier, the fact that he could actually understand what Ryan was saying or the fact they thought that he and Kirsten were getting a divorce.

"No mommy and I were just arguing, don't you and Seth argue sometimes?"

"Yes, but we're twins we can't get divorced," Ryan said. Sandy smiled down at him; this kid was way to smart for his age.

"True but you mom and I don't want a divorce"

"I wish I could divorce Ryan," Seth said sticking out his tongue at his brother. Ryan just rolled his eyes.

"We can't stupid!"

"So!"

"Boys stop it, come on eat this," Sandy interrupted placing two plates of pizza in front of them. "You guys are brothers, brother's don't fight!"

"Then why do Uncle Charlie and you always yell at each other?" Ryan asked taking his thumb out of his mouth to eat.

"Because Uncle Charlie is a stupid head!" Seth cried and they burst out laughing. Sandy just rolled his eyes and ignored them He grabbed the phone and dialed Kirsten, like he expected there was no answer. He watched as Ryan and Seth laughed together, flicking parts of their pizza at each other. Sandy couldn't imagine that Ryan was an Atwood; he was one hundred percent Cohen. If he hadn't been there when Seth was born and seen that it was only him then even he would have trouble believing that they weren't twins.

That night as Sandy got the boys to bed he kept checking his watch, watching the minutes pass by he wondered if Kirsten was even going to come home tonight. Sandy was at a total loss for what to do as he climbed into bed. He was going to at least try and sleep, it was nearly midnight and he had to be up for work at five. That is if Kirsten came back, otherwise he would have to figure out something to do with them. Sand swallowed the lump in his throat; she wouldn't leave without saying good-bye to the boys or taking them with her. Even if she hated him, and he still wasn't sure why, she would always adore the boys. Sandy didn't know how it was possible but at some point he actually fell asleep.

"Sandy?" a quiet voice said and Sandy jerked awake. As he flipped on the light he noticed the time, three a.m. "Sandy?" Kirsten asked crawling into bed beside him and snuggling up to him. Sandy yawned and turned the light back off.

"Mmmhhhm?"

"I think we should send her a letter, ask her to leave us alone but send it to her,"

"Kirsten are you sure?" Sandy asked wide-awake now

"He's our son, but she's part of him and maybe she needs to know what a wonderful kid she created,"

"Okay, but only because I love you,"

"Me too,"

"You love yourself?"

"Sandy!" she cried slapping him in the chest. He groaned and kissed her forehead and the top of her head.

"I love you," he said and leaned back into the pillow and fell asleep. He would let Kirsten take care of all the things to do with Dawn. For now he was just going to be happy not knowing.

There had been no response to Kirsten's two letters, and still two years later there was no Dawn Atwood in the Cohen's life. Instead the only thing that they had cared about was planning the boy's sixth birthday party. Caleb had insisted that it be a huge party, even though Kirsten knew that the kids would never remember. But she was happy to comply, her mother had died last month and they all needed a distraction. In the last hours of her life Kirsten had confessed to her mother about Ryan. She needed her mother to know, it made it so much easier to let her go, knowing that she wasn't still lying to her. But Kirsten as much as she wasn't ready to move on, was doing well. She owed that all to Seth and Ryan.

They didn't understand but they kept her going. Made sure that she got out of bed, even if it was only to make them a peanut-butter sandwich. If she hadn't had them she probably would have still been in bed drowning in self-pity. Instead she was mingling in the backyard on their birthday.

"Kiki!" a voice boomed behind her and Kirsten sighed knowing there was only one person in the world who called her that.

"Hello Dad,"

"Great party, the boys are having fun," Caleb said putting his arm around her and pointing at where all the kids were playing on the blow-up slide, moon bounce and other things that the DJ had brought.

"Well they should be, it's their party after all"

"Your mom would be proud of you,"

"Probably she would be saying it should be bigger,"

"Probably," Caleb said throwing his head back in laughter. They sat for a few minutes watching the kids play until Sandy came rushing over to them.

"Honey, we've got to get the cake done," Sandy said "Hello Cal,"

"Hello Sandman," Caleb said his eyes narrowing at his son-in-law.

"Always a pleasure to see you," Sandy said rolling his eyes as he led Kirsten away. "Can you get all the kids together?" he asked the DJ motioning to the tables set up for the kids. "We need to do the cake"

"All you kids, do you want cake?" the DJ cried and the sound of little kids running towards the table was the only answer they needed. Sandy grinned wrapping his arms around his wife as they headed up towards the tables.

"Okay, you ready to make a wish?" Kirsten asked as they led out two giant cakes. They put each one in front of the appropriate boy. Seth's had a picture in icing on him riding captain oats and Ryan's had a picture of fire trucks and cars.

"Yey!" Seth cried his eyes getting to be twice their size. As Sandy lit the candles Kirsten got out her camera and snapped pictures. She knew they were only young once and that this day had to be remembered.

"Okay everyone on the count of three let's start singing," Sandy cried as he lit the last candle "One…Two…. Three…Happy Birthday to you…" Kirsten sang as she took pictures she wasn't sure what she was going to do with all them, but she felt it would be important for some reason. The song came to an end and with a loud whoosh they blew out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" Marissa asked loudly in her six-year old boss voice to her two best boy friends.

"A horse!" Seth cried and everyone laughed. It had been all Seth had talked about for a long time, a horse. Like they had actually expected him to want something else. Ryan didn't say anything just laughed and took his finger and smudged his name. Then leaned over and plopped is first on Seth's nose, then Marissa's, then Luke's, his semi-friend from school, and finally on his own.

"Ryan, sweetie!" Kirsten groaned putting down the camera and sighing. According to some of the mother's this was what everyone did at the parties, smeared their name and put it on people's noses. She just wished it wasn't so disgusting a habit and that they had longer names. Everyone was crowded around Seth waiting for him to smear his name. Kirsten knew that people's feelings were going to get hurt, she motioned for the caterer to come to her.

"You don't happen to have any extra icing do you?"

"Actually I think I do," the man said smiling as he watched Seth smear his name "should I be worried about the cake?"

"Probably"

"Maybe they should move it?" he asked motioning to the other caterers

"Good idea," Kirsten said laughing, the man nodded at the others and they rushed in to take the cakes away. Kirsten watched the kids devour the icing, pushing it onto their own as well as other people's noses. She laughed out loud.

"Kiki, I told you this was a good party," a voice behind her said and Kirsten groaned again, her dad never seemed to leave her alone anymore. She took a deep breath, she reminded herself to be nice.

"Yes Dad, you were right,"

"As usual," he said with a grin

"Right, as usual," she said half headedly. This response seemed satisfy him and he grinned kissed her on the forehead and walked away.

The caterers were perfect, getting the pieces of cake out just before it got to out of control. What Kirsten noticed the most was that her dad was right all the kids seemed to agree it was a good party, but it was Ryan and Seth that made it true for her. The two of them had huge grins on their faces and their eyes were shinning. She had seen them happy before, but this kind of happiness was something new. Something that she wished she could see more in them. She knew that it was worth the trouble that she had gone through to plan the party.

Kirsten was son involved in her thoughts, that she like everyone else didn't notice what happened just before the candles of the cakes were lit. No one noticed that a young lady with too bleached blonde hair and definitely not up too Newport standards in the clothing departments slipped in. No one noticed that the lady's eyes never left the little blonde birthday boy. They didn't notice her as she sat down at one of the empty tables fingering a small gift wrapped box that was in her left hand. No one noticed her as she took the piece of cake and ate it, no one noticed as she dropped the box on top of the massive pile of presents on the Ryan table. No one noticed her as she got up to leave.

No one noticed her until she left, and then the only person that could actually recognize her did. Kirsten noticed the hair as it walked towards the driveway. Her breath caught in her throat but it didn't stop her from walking towards it. Dawn was walking down the driveway when Kirsten finally found her.

"Dawn!" Kirsten cried both angry and scared at the same time. She didn't know what she was going to say to this lady but she needed to talk to her.

"Kirsten don't" Dawn said running down the rest of the driveway.

"You can't keep coming back into our lives whenever you want to! This isn't your choice!"

"And how are you going to stop me?"

"I…I don't know," Kirsten said truthfully

"Well think about it. I'll be back eventually,"

"For Ryan?" Kirsten asked her voice catching in her throat.

"One never knows, oh and two things,"

"Yes?"

"Number one stop sending me letters,"

"But…"

"Number two tell Ryan happy birthday,"

"He doesn't know who you are,"

"Then tell him," Dawn said and got into the car.

"Never!" Kirsten screamed tears running down her cheeks.

"Fine, but someone will have to tell him!"

"No, and don't even think about telling him,"

"Whatever. Good-bye Kirsten," Dawn said getting into the car and speeding away.

**Author's Note: **Yes it's kind of weird. And an interesting ending I guess. I know it took me a while to update but I'm going to try and get one out a week. I know that I made them grow up quickly but I promise I'll slow it down a little bit. Please Review they totally totally make my day. Hope you liked it!


	3. sissies in love

**Author's Note:** _Okay this is a warning I hadn't meant for this to be but I turned this into just a real fluff. I wanted you all to see the relationship of the family would be without the interruption of Dawn. Thanks everyone so much for all the wonderful reviews! All of you have totally made my day!_

_**Disclaimer:** Duh I own nothing, nothing and more of nothing_

Dawn hadn't meant for anyone to see her. She had hoped that she could just go inside and catch a glimpse of Ryan and give him the present, even if it wasn't much. Kirsten of course had ruined her plan. Dawn cursed herself as she drove towards Chino for letting such a perfect lady get hold of her perfect baby. She should of kept him, she was regretting the choice to ever let him go. And yet she wasn't planning on doing anything that she had told Kirsten that she was going to do. She wanted her baby to be happy, and he probably would be scared of her and Kirsten's father she knew from looking it up was a big important man and Dawn barley had enough money to support her, her husband and her new baby Trey. Let alone pay some big shot millionaire for exposing a secret that she had no desire to tell.

The only problem she had at the moment was Kirsten. That women had been the only connection with her baby that Dawn had had since…well since the day he was born. Kirsten had been great about sending the letter's, but she had firm there would be no contacting her and no seeing or talking to Ryan. It was all really confusing to Dawn but she stayed with it because she loved her baby, even if her baby didn't love her.

Sandy groaned loudly as he half carried, half dragged a very hyper Seth inside with Ryan jumping along beside them. He wished Kirsten was here so that someone could help them. But she had insisted that she had a headache- Sandy was pretty sure she was lying- and gone inside. Leaving him to say good-bye to everyone and help attempt to calm down the boys. He was successful on the first one; the second one he was thinking was virtually impossible. By the time everyone had left, he had found them playing tag around the pool, regardless of the fact that it was almost one in the morning and all their friends had left a couple of hours ago.

"Daddy?" Seth asked smiling up at him

"What?"

"Can I open my presents?"

"Presents? Seth it's already not your birthday, how about tomorrow? I mean later today," Sandy said shaking his head

"Not my birthday?" Ryan asked suddenly his lip coming out in a full pout. His eyes welled up in tears and Sandy's heart broke

"Well uh it's uh kind of not your birthday, but it will really end when you wake up,"

"Can I stay up all night then, so it will never end?" Seth cried and jumped up and down suddenly.

"Yay!" Ryan cried and the two of them started jumping up and down.

"What is going on down here?" Sandy turned around gratefully. Kirsten had walked into the kitchen dressed in pajamas.

"Help me!" Sandy mouthed desperately and she laughed.

"What's up you guys?" Kirsten said bending down so that she was eye to eye with the boys.

"We don't want to ever go to bed," Seth said and Ryan nodded.

"Why not?"

"So our birthday will still be here,"

"Well if you don't go to sleep it won't be morning and then you can't have daddy's special pancakes"

"Daddy's making pancakes?" Ryan cried his eyes lighting up.

"Only if you go to sleep,"

"But what about presents?"

"How about you open just the ones from Daddy and me now and the rest tomorrow?"

"Ok!" Ryan cried throwing his arms around her neck

"No!" Seth cried stamping his foot at the same time.

"Please Seth sweetie, otherwise you won't get any pancakes,"

"Well…." Seth said and grabbed Ryan, dragging him over to a corner of the kitchen. They talked in hushed tones.

"Okay," Seth finally announced "but they better be good presents"

"Good," Kirsten said with a smile. "Okay go wait in by the couch,"

Watching the boys run towards the couch, Sandy shook his head in amazement. Women he though, as he grabbed the presets from their spot in the closet and carried them out. They were turning five so the had gone all out. Not that they didn't go all out every year, it was virtually impossible when the kids mother was Kirsten Nickel. It took them both two loads before they had bough everything out.

It took them about three seconds to rip through everything. Soon the floor was littered wit every toy imaginable. There were lots of board games and soccer thing, but they hadn't yet given them their biggest presents.

"Okay now Seth I know that what you want more then anything else is a horse right?"

"Yes!"

"So your mom and I decided that we wouldn't buy you a horse yet but instead we rented one called Goldie and got you lessons!"

"Goldie?" Seth asked wrinkling his nose

"Yep do you want to meet him tomorrow?"

"Can I name him something else?"

"Well…sure,"

"Okay then yes!"

"What about me?" Ryan asked his eyes lighting up in anticipations. Sandy and Kirsten exchanged looks. They hadn't decided yet what to give Ryan. They didn't want him to be upset about that but they hadn't figured out what to get him. They had bought him everything possible for his love of the moment-soccer. He was going to soccer camp, in the soccer league, had the uniform of all his favorite players, had soccer balls and nets and pads. There wasn't anything else that boy could need that had to do with soccer.

"Sweetie pie what do you want?" Kirsten asked hoping that she could make him as happy as Seth.

"I get to choose?"

"Yes, of course, we didn't know what would make you the happiest,"

"a kiss," Ryan said simply

"What?" Kirsten asked out of confusion. She wasn't sure what she had heard.

"A kiss from you and daddy, please,"

"Of course you can have a kiss," Kirsten said reaching out and enveloping him in a hug. Kissing him on both cheeks, she pondered how she had gotten such a great son. She wondered what she had done to deserve him.

"Daddy?" Ryan said pulling away from Kirsten and launching himself at Sandy.

"Uggh!" Sandy cried as Ryan ran straight into him. "Of course you can have a kiss too big guy," Sandy looked over at Kirsten while he hugged Ryan and raised and eyebrow. How was it that they were living in a huge house, the boys got everything they wanted and more and all Ryan wanted for his big present was a kiss?

"Well sweetie, kisses we can give you anytime you want, but what about a birthday gift?" Ryan sat in Sandy's lap and thought for a while. He thought and he thought and he thought. Until finally Seth got fed up.

"Ryan wants a horse,"

"No I don't"

"Well then make up your mind"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No! No! No!"

"You guys don't argue on your birthday!" Sandy cut in

"We're not arguing daddy, we're fighting,"

"What's the difference Seth?"

"I don't know but their different words,"

"Yes but they mean the same thing!" Seth insisted

"Nope,"

"Yes!"

"I don't want to hear this!" Ryan screamed covering his ears and running out of the room. Ryan was an over reactor. He also happened to at the moment hate any confrontation that wasn't involving him.

"Sandy!" Kirsten cried in exasperation and went running after Ryan. Sandy stopped yelling at Seth, if you could actually call it that and sighed loudly.

"So Seth you excited for tomorrow?"

The night hadn't gone as planned, especially since they never did get out of Ryan what he wanted for his birthday. Sandy had to work even though it was a Saturday, so that left Kirsten to take the boys over to the stable to visit Goldie. Unfortunately they were stuck in the car with Julie Cooper. Not that Kirsten hated Julie-she was sort of nice, but she did have the tendency to get on her nerves.

It wasn't even as if Kirsten had invited Julie. All that had happened was that they had been coming out of their houses at the same time, and Julie had asked where Kirsten was going. Mostly just out of polite curiosity, and when Kirsten had told her it had turned out they were going the same place. So Julie had said let's carpool and Kirsten hadn't been able to think of an excuse fast enough. So here they were, the kids laughing and talking in the back seat and Julie going on and on about something, while Kirsten sulked at her own stupidity.

"So anyways I was all like…" Julie continued on with her story Kirsten was pretty sure was about buying something at the mall, but she couldn't be quite sure. Kirsten checked her watch; ten minutes had gone by which meant she was stuck in the car with Julie for another twenty minutes.

"Mommy?" Ryan asked leaning up to tap her on the shoulder

"Yes?" Kirsten asked happy for the interruption

"Can I get food soon?"

"You just ate sweetie,"

"But I'm hungry,"

"Can you wait a while?"

"No!"

"Well I have a granola bar,"

"Yuck!"

"Water?"

"No,"

"How bout fast food?" Julie asked pointing at a sign for a McDonalds drive through. "We still have plenty of time,"

"Yay!" Ryan cried then stopped "what's fast food?"

"Stuff you like,"

"Yay!"

"Do I like it?" Seth asked

"Yes,"

"Do I mommy?"

"Too much so, honey, it can't be very good for your figure,"

"What's a figure?"

"Never mind, you'll find out later,"

"Okay," Marissa said and went back to giggling with Ryan and Seth.

"Your already worried about her figure?" Kirsten asked in surprise

"It's never to early,"

"I guess I don't have to worry about that with boys, huh?"

"Nope, guess not,"

"Lucky me though I have to worry about the girls,"

"The girl's, why?"

"I have to look out for the well being of the poor girl's that end up dating either one of them,"

"Yep, that must be hard too,"

"Hard? Probably the understatement of the year. Especially since I have to watch out for double the amount of girls that everyone else does. The hard part of having twins, I guess,"

"Really that's the hard part? I would have though giving birth twice would have been?" Kirsten choked and then gave a half hearted laugh

"I was too drugged out to notice"

"Ahh, makes since,"

"Totally" Julie agreed as they pulled into the McDonalds

"Two kids meal burgers, with lemonade and a coke,"

"And a kids meal chicken nuggets," Julie piped in "and an…what do you want to drink honey?" she asked turning towards Marissa

"A coke,"

"A coke please,"

"Please drive up to the pickup window," the cracking voice said and Kirsten was happy to obey as she checked her watch. Forty five minutes until Seth's lesson. Taking the stuff from the window and managing to steal a fry and take a sip of coke before handing it back to the kids, Kirsten thrust a ten dollar bill into the hand of the cashier and sped onto the highway.

When they had finally arrived at the stables, it was giving them a good five minutes to go meet the horse and get ready for the lesson. Kirsten cursed Julie Cooper and her desire to give kids everything she had never had.

"Seth, out of car. Now."

"Why? Mommy are you mad at me?"

"No, but don't you want to meet your horse?" Kirsten asked thrusting open the door and unbuckling Seth. "Ryan, let's go!"

"But I wanna eat,"

"How about if after Seth start's his lesson we come back and get your food? Can you wait five minutes?"

"I don't know…."Ryan said eyeing his mom suspiciously. Kirsten sighed, but to her surprise Julie actually knew what to do.

"Hey Ryan," Julie said as she picked Marissa up and got her out of the car. "When Marissa and Seth have lessons, you and your mom and I can have lunch. I'll even promise not to tell Seth if you eat all his fries," she said leaning in and whispering in to him. Ryan grinned at her and unbuckled himself before jumping out of the car.

"Thanks," Kirsten yelled back as she rushed Seth and Ryan towards the stable. "Hi, can you help me?" she asked a man with a name badge on.

"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"My son is starting riding lessons today and we rented him a horse named Goldie. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Goldie? Sure, come on I'll take you,"

"Great," Kirsten said as she dragged Ryan who was sulking with her. Seth was running up ahead, or rather skipping.

"Horse day, horse, day," he sang as he skipped. His singing was loud and Kirsten took a deep breath hoping that no one else heard Seth singing.

"Ahhh, here you go,"

"Thank you," Kirsten said and looked at the horse. It was beautiful, dark chestnut brown with a white spot on it's head. Stroking it's head made Kirsten smile. She'd had a horse as a little kids, one named Princess who she had adored, but in the end she had become tired of horse back riding, and decided that hanging out with her friends was much more fun. She was wishing that she had kept at it. "Seth, honey, this is Goldie," she said picking up Seth so he could pet him.

"He looks like Captain oats,"

"I know that's why I picked him,"

"Is he Captain Oat's daddy?"

"What do you think?"

"I think Captain oat's daddy is named General oats,"

"Really what makes you think so?"

"Because general sounds better then captain,"

"Okay, then his dad is general oats,"

"Do I own general oats?"

"No, well at least I don't think so…do you?"

"No, I don't think so,"

"Well you own Goldie for a year,"

"Then what?"

"If you still like him you can keep him,"

"Really?"

"We'll talk about it,"

"Hello, Mrs. Cohen I presume?" a riding instructor asked walking over to them. Kirsten put Seth down and held out her hand.

"I'm going to guess that you're Ben?" she asked shaking his hand

"Good guess," Ben said and bent down towards Ryan. "Let me guess your Seth?"

"No! I'm Ryan,"

"Oh, so where's Seth?"

"I'm here!" Seth said popping out from behind his mother.

"Oh it's only Seth that has a lesson right?"

"Yes, this is Seth's twin Ryan, who doesn't like horse's he's going to stay with me,"

"You don't even want to ride once?"

"No way José,"

"Okay, then you ready to go Seth?"

"Yes, what's your name?"

"Oh duh!" Ben said hitting his forehead "I'm Ben,"

"I'm Seth,"

"Yes I know,"

"How?"

"Your mom told me,"

"Well that was rude of her,"

"Come on you can complain about your mom while we start learning to ride,"

"Okay," Seth said and smiled and skipped after Ben talking a mile a minute.

"Well I refuse to let you complain about anyone," Kirsten said grinning at Ryan "but we can go and share Seth's fries,"

"Okay mommy, but first I want to tell you something,"

"Sure sweetie, anything you want I'll talk to you about it,"

"It's a secret," Kirsten nodded and squatted down so that he could whisper in her ear.

"Don't tell anyone because Luke says only sissies…" he trailed off then started again "say the words I love you"

"Oh no, honey, no, Daddy say's I love you all the time is he a sissy?" she asked picking up Ryan and kissing his forehead. He pondered this for a moment then nodded. Kirsten threw back her head in laughter.

"But I love you mommy, does that make me a sissy?"

"No sweetie, not if anyone knows,"

"Okay then promise you won't tell?"

"I promise,"

"Good, can we go eat fries now?"

"Sure," she answered with a sigh, still not putting Ryan down. She loved having alone moments with both her boys. Seth and her could spend hours playing together, running around and doing things, but her time with Ryan was different. He would come and crawl in next to her when she was watching a movie or TV, he would sit in her lap and snuggle up to her when she was working at the kitchen table, or the fact that he would sometimes randomly ask her if he could be picked up or be given a hug. And as much as she knew that he loved it, she couldn't help but love it more.

**Author's Note:**_there my warning proved true, how fluffy was that? But don't worry all you drama lovers I promise in the next chapter there will be more drama I actually for the very first time in my entire life know pretty much where I'm going with this story. I know surprise, surprise! Review all you wonderful people and I will cherish and adore you forever! _


	4. Breaking her heart

**Author's Note** hope you all like this chapter I worked really hard on this. Also I wanted to thank everyone so much for all the reviews, you guys are wonderful and always manage to make me happy. And I know I said that they were turning five by accident in the last chapter but they were actually turning six…. I'm sorry! Anyways as usual I own nothing, so here's the story….

"I just don't know Sandy, they're only eight,"

"But it's a five minute walk…"

"What if they get kidnapped?"

"In Newport beach, honey?" Sandy asked with a laugh

"You never know there are a ton of crazies out there,"

"The biggest crazy I know is your father, and even Seth and Ryan, his own grandkids, know not to get in a car alone with him,"

"Sandy he's my father,"

"I know, I know honey, but he's also a crazy,"

"He pays our bills,"

"Don't change the topic,"

"I just don't know I mean I don't mind picking them up myself,"

"But they don't want you too,"

"I just don't know walking home…"

"Carson said that they could stop at their house on the way home for a little while and if they don't want to walk all the way he would drive them home,"

"It's just that…"

"There are so many of them, and if it makes you feel better they can always call you from the Ward's house,"

"But they're all so young,"

"Well if you add six eight year old together, then they would be older then you,"

"Shut up, Sandy,"

"Hey mommy said a bad word," Seth said running up to where they were talking out by the pool

"Yes but it was a mistake,"

"I know, but did you decide if we can walk home yet?"

"I don't know Seth,"

"But we're walking with a lot of people,"

"I know sweetie, but it's just a big step,"

"And I'm a big boy with long legs so I can take big steps,"

"Seth this is no time for sarcasm," Sandy said rolling his eyes

"It's always time for sarcasm,"

"If you say so honey,"

"I do,"

"Sweetie where's your brother?"

"At Coop's, I think, they were doing math homework, remember?"

"Who's Coop?" Sandy asked in confusion

"Marissa's new best friend Summer who just moved here this year calls Marissa Coop because she thinks it's cute,"

"Oh I see, I guess, Ryan's still there?"

"I guess so, Mrs. Clark gives a lot of homework,"

"Oh, well maybe I should call Julie and ask her to send Ryan home,"

"Whatever,"

"Alright, what do you want for dinner?"

"I want Chinese food,"

"Alright then why don't you go run over and get Ryan and I'll order it?"

"I don't want to," Seth whined

"Seth do what your mom wants,"

"I hate you daddy!"

"Well I love you son, now go get Ryan!" Sandy said getting up and giving Seth a playful shove in the direction of the cooper's house.

"Child abuser!"

"Parent abuser,"

"You are so annoying"

"Oh I forgot brother abuser for making him stay in the same house with Julie Cooper for so long,"

"I am not a…"

"Seth! Just ignore your father he's never going to give it up, just go!"

"I just don't know, why would I want to visit the dragon lady?"

"Seth! Where did you hear that from?"

"Dad,"

"I should have known,"

"Yes you should of"

"Just go, now, or you don't get any dinner,"

"Your going to deny me food, isn't that child abuse too?"

"Well I'll show you child abuse if you don't obey your mother," Sandy said laughing to himself

"Alright alright don't get your panties in a twist," Seth said and stuck out his tongue before purposely walking as slow as possible back to the house.

"He's such a smart aleck," Sandy said shaking his head

"He gets that from you of course,"

"Of course, because you my dear are never sarcastic,"

"Never," Kirsten said getting off her chair and snuggling up with Sandy. He kissed her forehead lightly and she closed her eyes concentrating on hearing the sounds of the beach so far away, and was surprised that she could actually hear it.

"Hey Mrs. Cooper," Seth said as Julie answered the huge doors of the house.

"Seth, how are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm fine, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually I came over to tell Ryan that it's time for dinner,"

"Oh, of course, go on in, you know where Marissa's room is?"

"I think so,"

"Alright then just call down if you need anything,"

"Thanks," Seth said and headed up the stairs. He opened the first door, only to find that it was an empty guest room, the second door to find that it was the bedroom of Marissa's little sister Caitlin, the third to find that it was the bedroom of her parent's before finally opening Marissa's door. "I feel like goldilocks" he announced to the room.

"Hey Seth," Marissa said not looking up from where she, Summer, and Ryan were sitting in a circle on the floor

"Don't you even want to know why I feel like goldilocks?"

"Uh let me think about that one," Marissa said with a short pause "No,"

"Hey what about you Ryan?"

"Not especially,"

"But the thing is was that I wasn't sure which one was Marissa's room. So I opened the first one, and then the second one, doors I mean, and then the third one, you know like goldilocks? She checks all the things three times, before finding the perfect one…"

"Ryan can you please shut your brother up? He is so super annoying!" Summer said standing up. She was small, with her hair in a dark messy braid. Summer held up her two hands in fists, "I'm going to punch you Seth if you don't shut up,"

"Okay, um Ryan mom's ordering food and if you want any you need to come home soon," Seth said in one breath before running out of the room and slamming the door behind him. He opened it for a second "Otherwise you get no dinner," before shutting the door again and running down the hall as fast as he could. He didn't know Summer that well but she sure was scary. In fact if it was just Ryan and Marissa he would have just stayed in there, but he was pretty sure that that girl Summer could beat him up, badly. He doesn't even bother to say good-bye to the dragon lady; all he cares about is getting out of the house. Because once he's out, he's pretty sure that Summer's not going to follow him. Or at least he hoped not.

He's halfway down the driveway when he hears it.

"Bye Seth," he looks up and Summer is hanging out the window an evil grin on her face, waving good-bye. Seth shrugs, he'll never understand girls, or at least he'll never understand girls like Summer.

"Hey Seth, wait up!" Ryan called jogging to catch up with him. He had had just enough time to grab the homework, stuff it in his backpack and get out of the house.

"I can't believe you stayed so long in a house with the dragon lady and Summer,"

"Whose the dragon lady?"

"I think it's Mrs. Cooper,"

"Oh, why do you think that?"

"Dad said so,"

"Right," Ryan paused for a second and bent down carefully tying his shoes. "Did they decide yet?"

"About…the walking home, no not yet. I don't get it what's the big deal, I mean we're big right?"

"It kind of weird that all the other parents said okay, and ours didn't,"

"That's because their stupid," Seth said swinging open the front door and walking into the house with Ryan right behind him.

"Hey guys," Sandy said coming out of the kitchen and kissing Ryan on the top of the head.

"What was that for?" Ryan asked making a face

"Because I haven't seen you in a while, is that alright?"

"No, well if you let us walk home then it's okay I guess,"

"Well I say okay but you have to talk to your mom,"

"She is so annoying"

"Don't say that about her,"

"Why not dad it's true?" Seth said and rolled his eyes at Ryan before running up the stairs. Sitting down on the floor of his room he looked at all the homework spread out in front of him. He was only in third grade and he already had a lot of homework, well maybe not a lot but too much in his mind. Besides they were working on cursive and that just sucked, because well Seth had okay regular handwriting but his cursive was terrible. Of course the teacher's now made them write in only cursive, so Seth was in his own personal hell. Except he shouldn't say that word but sometimes he heard Daddy say that about Newport, so he thought that he could say that about school. Besides it wasn't like anyone could hear his thoughts.

"Seth honey? You ready for dinner?" Kirsten asked poking her head into his room and he jumped guiltily "How's the homework coming along? Want some help?"

"No thanks," Seth said very politely just in case his mom could read his thoughts, because sometimes she was scary like that.

"No to dinner, or no to help?"

"No to help,"

"Okay, but that's a yes to dinner?"

"Yeah" Seth said jumping up and following his mother.

"Good," Kirsten said putting her arms around Seth and kissing the top of his head. She sometimes felt bad that she favored Ryan. It wasn't something that was obvious to anyone but herself; she would never outwardly favor a kid. But Seth was Sandy's kid, comic books, video games, sailing, and all the self-rigorousness was traits from him. She barley saw herself in him at all, except for the selfishness that was definitely her. Ryan was all hers, at least she liked to think so, he was blonde and very waspy looking- like her, he was quiet and loved to sit with his grandfather and listen about architecture, exactly what she had done when she was younger. It wasn't that she didn't love Seth, she adored him, all his traits reminded her so much of Sandy, and that at least in her mind was a good thing. It was just that Ryan was so… Kirsten didn't know how to explain it.

"Can I try and eat my soup with chopsticks again, because my new friend Brad says that the way they do it in China"

"How does Brad know this?"

"I don't know, but he does,"

"I think he's making it up honey,"

"No, I don't,"

"Well I do, maybe you should just use a spoon like normal,"

"I guess,"

"You guess what?" Sandy asked as they walked into the kitchen

"I guess that your stupid," Seth said sticking out his tongue

"Really? Well that's a new one,"

"Can we eat? I'm starving," Ryan said opening the first container

"I agree son," Sandy said and helped open more of the containers

"Ryan, honey would you grab some spoons?" Kirsten asked as the unloaded all the things from the bags.

"Sure but Mommy," Ryan said jumping out of the chair and grabbing the spoon "Everyone else is going to walk home, so I want to too," Ryan knew he was whining the last words but he didn't really care that much.

"But it's just a big step, honey, and I don't want you getting hurt,"

"Mommy how many times do I have to tell you that I have long legs?" Seth piped up

"Seth it has nothing to do with your legs,"

"But you step with your legs,"

"I know but your taking it too literally, honey,"

"Well then how should I take it?"

"Take it figuratively,"

"What's figuratively mommy?" Ryan piped up as he dug into his food. Kirsten just shrugged; it was too hard to explain anything to an eight year old at least from her opinion. No matter what she said there was no way she was going to get out of letting them walk home. They were only eight but she felt like they were growing up way too fast. After all it felt like they had just been born yesterday, at least in her opinion.

"Fine alright, your guys can walk home, are you happy?"

"Yay!" they cried and went running out of the room presumably to call their friends. Sandy looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. Kirsten just shrugged.

"I wasn't going to win anyway,"

"No I didn't think that you would,"

"But they're my baby's, it's just hard to let them go," Kirsten said and Sandy nodded. He understood, they were his baby's too.

"Step on a crack break your mother's back," Seth chanted quietly under his breath. He knew it was a babyish thing to do but he was bored. He was actually kind of unsure why he had wanted to walk home in the first place. Ryan and Luke were best friends, Marissa, Summer and Holly were best friend and Seth had no best friend. He had friends at school, especially this one kid named Brad who really liked comic books too. Which was totally cool, but Brad's mom picked him up after school so Seth was still all-alone. Without anyone to talk to, which was totally un-cool.

"Seth Cohen would you shut up already?" Summer cried turning around and stomping hard on his foot.

"Ow!" Seth cried out in pain

"Well you deserve it, stupid, for singing that horrible song,"

"Your stupid," Seth said quietly hoping she wouldn't hear but kind of wishing she would.

"You better wish that I never hear that" Summer said and launched herself at Seth.

"Oh my god, Sum," Holly cried and cover her mouth. This was just too funny, Seth Cohen was being beat up by tiny Summer.

"Summer," Luke said rolling his eyes at Ryan and on the count of three they lifted her off him. Summer wasn't fat, as if a Newport mom would let their child become fat, but she was heavier then they had expected. In fact Ryan almost dropped her.

"Your suck Cohen and next time I see you I'm going to kick your butt,"

"Oh my god, I'm so scared," Seth said rolling his eyes as he was now safely protected by Ryan and Luke. Summer just rolled her eyes and stomped off with Marissa and Holly chasing after her.

"That was a stupid thing to say, Seth," Ryan said in exasperation. Seth just shrugged, what could Summer do to him if he had Luke and Ryan, nothing really.

"It wasn't really true," Seth admitted

"Duh Cohen, you are so not brave," Luke said with a laugh

"How come I'm Cohen and Ryan's not?"

"Because Seth's a dorky name,"

"Hey!"

"Leave him alone Luke," Ryan said "Besides if you take out all your anger on him then you won't be able to play as well in the game"

"You take your anger out on the soccer field?" Seth asked wrinkling his nose in confusion. Seth stopped to tie his shoe as Luke and Ryan conversed briefly about the soccer game.

"Luke! Ryan! Seth! Hey," Carson Ward called waving at them as Luke ran up the driveway.

"Hey Mr. Ward," Ryan called then when he had watched Luke disappear inside, he turned on Seth. "Your so stupid sometimes, I just don't understand how we're related,"

"You don't understand how we're related, dude welcome to my world," Seth called back as he was left once again alone as Ryan ran to walk with the girls. Seth Cohen might have an incredibly popular brother, come on even at eight you know what popular is, a group of very popular "friends", and lots of girls that he hung out with, well actually he was made to do that by his mom mostly, but it seemed as if he was always alone.

"Hey guys," Ryan cried putting his arm on Marissa's shoulder to stop her.

"Hey Ryan, what's up with your stupid brother?" Summer asked in a bored tone

"Sum, your so mean," Holly said with a giggle. Holly Fisher was a giggler; it was the best way to describe her since she could barley get a sentence out without giggling.

"At least I'm not as stupid as Cohen," Summer shot back much to the amusement of Holly.

"Why aren't I Cohen?" Ryan asked wondering why every once called him by his first name but Seth by their last name. It certainly wasn't like you had a hard time telling them apart.

"Because Cohen is a stupid name and it fits Seth," Holly said giggling as she stressed Seth's name

"Your so right Holl," Summer yelled sticking at her tongue at Seth. The five of them walked in silence, arriving first at Holly's house, and then at Summer's before finally making their way to their small street. Ryan was the first to notice it, the beat up old car parked on the corner of the street. It looked so out of place, in fact Ryan had never seen anything like it except in the movies.

"What is that?" Marissa asked wrinkling her nose in obvious disgust. Ryan shrugged, he briefly wondered if walking the twenty or so steps to his driveway was dangerous. But Ryan was always the hero kind of guy, the person who rooted for the good guy to win, and Ryan always secretly wanted to be that hero. Because when you really thought about it, who wouldn't want to be a hero?

"Stay here, I'm going to get Mommy," Ryan said and started off at a run towards the house. For all he knew the car could be empty or just some lost person trying to find their way home but Ryan wasn't going to take any chances. He heard that when you got kidnapped they barley fed you anything but bread and water…or wait was that jail? Ryan had no idea but he did know that if he only ate bread and water then he wouldn't be able to kick Luke's butt on the soccer field, and well that was just unacceptable.

"I am not waiting here so I can die," Marissa hissed at Ryan stamping her foot "Your so stupid Ryan. I hate you," Marissa cried and crossed the street and ran home as far away from the car as possible. Ryan froze and turned around to watch her run down her driveway. He stared at the car as he heard Seth run by him, slowly of course…because well it was Seth, but he didn't even turn as he heard the door slam shut. The car looked so weird and out of place that it was bothering him, and usually he would have gone to his mother but he was scared something would happen if he got her.

"Ryan," a voice he didn't recognize, a female's voice, called and Ryan froze. It wasn't him mommy's voice or Marissa's mom's voice or anyone else's voice. He looked around but he still didn't see anyone. "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan," the voice was crying now and every fiber in his body told him to run, but apparently his feet hadn't gotten the message because he couldn't. The car door opened and a women with big bleached hair stepped out of the car, and just as she did his feet finally got the message. He took two steps backwards. "Don't run away from me," the woman pleaded

"How do you know my name?"

"I know a lot more about you then you think,"

"I think I need to get my mommy,"

"Your mommy" the women started laughing and pointed at the house. "Is Kirsten your mommy?"

"Yes," Ryan said softly and the women nodded.

"I know your mother,"

"You do?"

"Yep my name's Dawn, but I bet she's never mentioned me, am I right?"

"Yes,"

"Well it's nice to meet your Ryan, I've heard a lot about you,"

"You have? Did my mommy tell you?"

"Yep, we're…" Dawn paused for a second, "Old friends, I guess,"

"Oh, do you want me to get her,"

"No!" Dawn cried a little too loudly, Ryan looked startled and scared. "We had a fight and she told me never to visit her, but I wanted to give her something,"

"Oh,"

"Here, will you give it to her for me?"

"No," Ryan said simply

"What why?"

"Because I don't want too,"

"Listen you little punk," Dawn said moving closer to Ryan, close enough that he could smell her breath and raising her hand "I'm your…"

"What is going on here?" Kirsten asked running outside in a panic. Her face was pale and as Ryan ran towards her she felt scared, and how could she not this was the first time that Ryan had met Dawn.

"Mommy, mommy," Ryan cried panicking as he literally leapt into her arms. Kirsten caught him but just barley.

"Ryan sweetie I think you need to go inside right now, go play with Seth,"

"I wanna stay with you," Ryan said but Kirsten shook her head.

"Sweetie, inside now!"

"But…"

"Not butts," Kirsten said and put Ryan down. He looked at her oddly before running into the house. Kirsten turned to Dawn and just stared at her. This was one of her worst nightmares come true.

"Hello Kirsten," Dawn said simply

"Dawn, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well that's a nice welcome,"

"I mean it what the hell is your problem? I've done everything you've asked! You can't do this to me, do you want me to get a restraining order?"

"Why you going to run to daddy? Because I've read all about him,"

"You and the rest of the world," Kirsten mumbled under hear breath

"Well it wasn't that hard,"

"What are you doing here Dawn?"

"I just want to talk to my baby,"

"He is not your baby," Kirsten screamed and clenched her fists. She didn't believe in fighting, she said so all the time to the boys fighting gets you nowhere, talking gets you everywhere. Yet desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Did you give birth to him, did you carry him for nine months?"

"No but I've been the one that stayed up when he was sick, and held his hands when he got shots, and kissed him when he got hurt," Kirsten was fuming "Did you do that?"

"I just want to talk to him,"

"What do you want to do hit him?"

"I would never,"

"Well let me tell you got pretty close," Kirsten said and Dawn stayed silent. "I think you need to go,"

"I want to see Ryan first,"

"That's not an option"

"Please Kirsten,"

"I don't think so, Dawn, maybe in a long, long time. How does that work for you?"

"Don't mess with me,"

"Well it may be too late for that if you keep showing up,"

"I just want to see him, there's nothing wrong with that!" Dawn cried one tear sliding down her face. Kirsten wanted to feel bad for her; after all she's not sure that if she was in the same position that she wouldn't do the same thing. No matter what Kirsten did Dawn kept coming back.

Because no matter what Kirsten would threaten she would never do anything. It had taken her to the hours before her mother died to even tell her that Ryan was adopted. Tell her that that would probably out live them all? She would have to be insane

"There's everything wrong with that," Kirsten said evenly "When you signed those papers he became mine"

"Maybe I made a mistake,"

"Well that's one mistake you can't change," Kirsten said and Dawn was silent.

Which is when Kirsten knew that she had her. There was nothing Dawn could do. Her signature, the same one that signed for the credit card she really couldn't pay for, and had practiced for hours when she was a little girl had been the very thing that she had used to lose her baby boy forever.

But as she walked away she knew that even if she couldn't do anything, she could really mind fuck Kirsten. So just before she got into her car she turned around and with what she hoped looked like an evil smile just said three words

"See you soon," and then drove off. She didn't want to see the effect that would have on Kirsten, it was so much better imagining what it would be.

**Author's Note:** okay this took me literally forever! I'm not even kidding, but to my relief more then anything it's actually done. So please drop a review tell me if I should even continue or because it's been so long just start something new. Hope you like it and if you get a chance make me happy and review!


	5. Just wanted to know what it was like

**Author's Note: I'm so excited to write this chapter, you don't even understand. I realized that this is the chapter that I get to start to explore Seth and Summer if they had actually talked when they were younger! I hope everyone likes it! Thanks so much for all the great reviews you totally make my day. Okay I'm taking a break from having Dawn come and it's more about the apprehension that Kirsten feels and the way Seth and Ryan are growing up. So on with the story….**

"Everyone stand up please," Mrs. Ralwey, Harbor Middle School's fifth grade history teacher, said as she walked into the classroom. "Were going to switch seats,"

"What?" Seth hissed to Ryan who was sitting next to him. Ryan shrugged before turning to Luke and raising an eyebrow. Mrs. Ralwey never paid attention to the class seating. She had let them pick their seats from day one, and just sighed loudly when a table got to loud and asked them to please be quiet.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Ralwey," Luke said in a bored tone

"Yes, Luke?" the teacher said in a matching tone

"I like my seat the way it is," Luke said and there was a chorus of agreements.

"Luke stand up please, we're switching seats,"

"I refuse,"

"Luke, come on," Ryan said rolling his eyes and standing up. Luke groaned

"Ryan dude, you have to learn that best friends have each other's back," he said and stood up

"Thank you Luke, Ryan, now here. Okay at table one we have Cooper, Williams, Flack and Fisher" Holly and Marissa high-fived each other but rolled their eyes at the fact that Trent Flack the biggest dork in the fifth grade, in their opinion had to sit with them.

"Table two Ward, Cohen, Roberts and Kiley"

"Ms. Ralwey," interrupted Ryan in the most polite voice he could think of

"Yes, Ryan?"

"Which Cohen because Seth and I are twins, so there are two of us,"

"Yes, Ryan, I am well aware of that fact. But seeing as the fact that you and Luke could prove quite disruptive it's Seth,"

"We wouldn't be that disruptive…"Luke said but trailed off at the look she was giving him. Meanwhile Seth was trying to figure out where to sit. If he sat down next to Luke he would have to hear endless discussions on why wasn't Seth good at soccer but Ryan was, and what sports Luke was going to play now that he was in fifth grade. If he sat down next to Summer he might not be able to survive the remaining weeks alive. And Samantha Kiley, that kid Seth was convinced still picked her nose. So when they sat down all he did was try to avoid sitting down next to Samantha because Seth didn't want any buggers to land on his desk. Samantha it seemed must have had a thing for Luke because she rushed to sit down next to him. Exactly in the seat that Seth was trying to sit in.

"Excuse me, I think that that chair has my name on it," Seth said putting his hand on his hip and staring at the girl. Samantha just stared at him for a second then wiped her nose and shrugged.

"I don't see your name on it,"

"I meant figuratively,"

"Whatever. Sit next to Summer," Samantha said and Seth's eyes widened.

"No, uh…." Luke looked at Seth trying to figure out who the girl was. _Samantha_ Seth mouthed "Samantha, I think Seth is sitting there,"

"No," Samantha said wiping her nose again, very conveniently with her hand.

"Where am I sitting?" Summer said in a bored tone as she approached the group

"Hey Sum, who do you want to sit next to Cohen or uh…" Luke paused for a second "Samantha"

"Ewww! Cohen of course," Summer said sticking out her tongue at Samantha who was looking very smug

"Please don't hurt me Summer" Seth pleaded as he sat down next to her

"If your nice I won't" Summer said and smiled nastily at him.

"Great," Seth mumbled and then turned back to the teacher.

Kirsten had a headache so she had stayed home today. She was wandering around the house wondering what to do. Sandy had been the one that insisted that she stay home because she had woken up with it, feeling dizzy and nauseous which resulted in Sandy rubbing her back as she leaned over the toilet the room spinning around her.

Sandy had thought that maybe it was because she was getting sick, and she didn't want to tell him the truth. She had had a dream about Dawn coming back. It had been too long since Dawn had paid them a visit. She wanted to believe that she was gone from their lives forever. That they could just go on pretending and living their lives, but every time she thought that her thoughts just kept coming back to what Dawn had said. That she would see her soon. Kirsten thought about that and slid onto the bed as her headache returned. Closing her eyes she figured that the best way to keep these thoughts out was to just sleep.

She was woken up when she heard the door open.

"Mom, Mom, Mom!" Seth was calling the panic clear in his voice

"Honey, are you okay?" Sandy was there too, the panic in his voice as well.

"Seth? Are you sick sweetheart?" Kirsten said rushing into the hall. She wondered what Seth was doing home so early. He didn't sound sick, so maybe he had gotten hurt. She was running down the stairs by now.

"No Mom, are you okay?" Seth asked giving her a huge hug. "I was so scared"

"What happened?" she asked turning to Sandy.

"You didn't come to pick up Seth at school, did you forget that the paper was canceled today? No one could reach you at home or at work so Seth called me. But if your alright I'm going to go back to work, is the good? There's a really big case that I need to work on" Sandy said looking extremely apologetic and hassled

"Okay, that's fine" Kirsten said and accepted the kiss the Sandy leaned in for as he rushed back out.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry," Kirsten said her heart breaking for Seth who looked so worried. "I wasn't feeling well so I took a nap,"

"Oh," Seth said and shrugged with indifference. "I have to sit next to Summer at school,"

"Really? That's great honey," Kirsten said putting her arm around him and leading him into the kitchen.

"Mom have you met Summer?"

"Yes she's a sweet little girl,"

"Uh no she's not, I was practically begging Samantha to let me sit next to Luke instead,"

"Oh, well I'm sure Summer's not that bad," Kirsten said opening the refrigerator. "What do you want for a snack?"

"Nothing, there was a meeting of some club at school and they had pizza and while I waited for Dad they gave me some,"

"Really that was nice of them,"

"I guess," Seth said and thought about his new favorite topic, Summer Roberts. She was incredibly fascinating he thought. He didn't know much about her in reality, after all it was more of Ryan who hung out with her. As the fact that she and Ryan were both Marissa's best friend, Seth liked Marisa too but they just didn't hang out a lot. But in the single forty minute period they had spent together she had talked non-stop. She had covered everything from high ponytails vs. low ponytails to the fact that her real mother was in New York trying to be an actress.

"What are you thinking about honey?" Kirsten asked as she sat down next to her son.

"Uh…" Seth felt his face flush. He wasn't going to tell his mom what he was thinking; she might think he was weird. Not that she didn't already, but it was best that his mom thought that he was at least a little normal. "Nothing"

"It didn't look like nothing," Kirsten teased gently. Seth's face was turning redder by the moment and all of a sudden Kirsten froze. She wondered if Seth was thinking about a girl. Kirsten started to cough really loudly, just to take up time.

"You all right mom?" Seth asked happy to avoid the topic

"What? Oh yeah. Were you thinking about a girl honey?" Kirsten prodded gently. Seth's mouth dropped open, could his mother read his thoughts? There were times he was quite suspicious of this but maybe this proved it.

"Uh….no….no….nooo…." Seth said practically sighing in relief when he heard the door open.

"Bye Luke, thanks Mr. Ward!" Ryan called before running into the kitchen. "Mom, Seth," he acknowledge before grabbing a water out of the fridge.

"Ryan. Buddy, hey how's it going? How was soccer? Did you win? Did Luke kick your butt again?"

"Seth, your rambling" Ryan said in a bored tone. "It was just practice, how could we win?"

"Uh….I don't know?" Seth supplied

"Right, what were you talking a bout?"

"Seth was going to admit that he was…"

"Mom, stop!" Seth cried in panic covering her mouth

"Something interesting?" Ryan asked glancing at Seth who shrugged

"Nope, nothing interesting, everything's normal I wasn't thinking about anything weird, nope, not at all,"

"Seth!" Kirsten cried prying his hand away in disgust.

"But you were going to tell Ryan, and Ryan would tell Marissa, and Marissa would tell…." Seth trailed off realizing he had almost let it slip.

"I won't tell I promise," Ryan said but Seth shook his head and tore past his mom and Ryan and ran up towards his bedroom.

"I've got homework," he called over his shoulder as he closed the door to his room. He could hear Ryan running behind him. Sinking down against the door he closed his eyes. That was close. Was it possible to develop a crush on a person in one day, Seth wasn't sure. All he knew was that if this was a crush, Summer was going to make it true by crushing him with her little fists.

"Seth open the door," Ryan cried banging on the door

"No!"

"Yes!" Ryan said and pushed open the door a little bit. Seth pushed back struggling against Ryan's obvious strength. "Seth stop being an idiot"

"I'm…Not….Being…an….idiot.." Seth said as Ryan finally won and pushed the door open. Seth glared at Ryan who just raised an eyebrow. Even at ten he was starting to perfect the scary look, the one that Kirsten referred to as the nickel look because it reminded her of her father.

"Yes you are," Ryan said simply "Who is it?"

"You don't know them," Seth said trying to sound innocent. He knew Ryan wasn't going to take that as an answer but he figured it was worth a try.

"But Marissa does?"

"Uh…."

"Seth god some times I wonder how I'm related to such an idiot,"

"Sometimes I wonder how I'm related to such an idiot," Seth mimicked trying to postpone telling Ryan.

"Stop it, Seth,"

"Stop it Seth," Seth mimicked again

"Gahhh!"

"Gahhh!"

"You suck,"

'You suck"

"Seth is so stupid,"

"Seth is so…Hey!" Seth cried realizing that Ryan was done playing games. "I don't…I mean…"

"Is it Holly?" Ryan asked wrinkling his nose. Ryan was not a big fan of Holly, although it was clear that it was a mutual feeling because just a couple of weeks ago Holly had punched him giving him a bloody nose.

"God no!" Seth cried in disgust

"Is it Marissa?" he asked narrowing his eyes. Seth paused loving to torture his brother. Ryan lunged at him.

"No! No! It's not Marissa!" Seth cried frantically trying to dodge Ryan.

"Seth, I'm warning you stay away from Marissa,"

"I like her but just as a friend, I promise dude,"

"But if you do…"

"It's someone else!"

"So your admitting it?"

"No!"

"It sure sounds like you were," Ryan's eyebrow was raised and he was semi-glaring at his brother.

"Okay maybe I was, then again maybe I wasn't"

"You're an idiot!"

"You've already said that,"

"Well I'm just reinforcing the point"

"Ooooh, a big word, did your girlfriend teach you that one?"

"Marissa's not my girlfriend," Ryan said rolling his eyes.

"I thought she was, that's why she's so special to you, and you would freak if you found out that I like her,"

"Yeah because I would feel bad when Marissa kicked your scrawny little butt,"

"Marissa could not kick my butt,"

"Yes she could, now either tell me or I'll come kick your butt," Ryan said and Seth knew that when Ryan said this he really and truly meant it. Seth loved his brother but sometimes he was scared of him.

"Not really but kind of just a little bit I may possibly have a teeny tiny itsy bitsy really small and unimportant, not that special to be ignored crush on," Seth said and then lowered his voice so much that Ryan could barley hear it. "Summer,"

Ryan burst out laughing. He couldn't help it, everyone knew that Seth was the first to back down in almost every situation and Summer was the first to punch the person in the nose. Except for Holly of course, Ryan rubbed his nose consciously remembering how hard her first had been. Seth glared at Ryan until he finally stopped laughing.

"It's not that funny," Seth glowered

"It is, I can't wait to tell Mommy," Ryan said and started to head to the door. Seth went over to grab Ryan but Ryan was too fast for him. The two of them raced downstairs yelling insults back and forth at each other. Kirsten turned at all the noise, she was surprised to see that for once it was Seth chasing Ryan and not the other way around, but in actuality she wasn't that shocked that Seth was lapsing behind.

"Hi guys,"

"Mommy guess what!" Ryan was practically shrieking by now.

"Don't tell PLEASE," Seth pleaded but he was panting so hard it all came out as one word.

"But it's funny,"

"It's not funny,"

"Ryan it's okay, if Seth doesn't want me to know that's perfectly alright," Kirsten said grinning slightly wondering how Ryan had gotten it out of Seth in the first place. "Now why don't you guys get do homework, Daddy's going to be home soon,"

"But I want to tell you," Ryan whined as he grabbed his backpack from over by the table and swung it on his back.

"Well, why don't we let Seth tell me when he wants to? Now do you need any help on your homework?"

"Mom, I'm a big kid, I do not need help on my homework," Ryan said rolling his eyes

"I know you are, just thought I would ask," Kirsten said going over and dropping a kiss on his forehead. "What about you Seth? Need help, sweetie?"

"Nope, I'm all done," he said proudly

"Really? When did you finish that?"

"When you forgot to pick me up today," he said simply and Kirsten frowned. "It's okay mommy, don't worry about it,"

"Okay, Seth, so tell me about this girl,"

"I don't like her," he said defiantly and Kirsten just smiled

"Okay,"

"I don't but I don't understand,"

"understand what, sweetie?" Kirsten asked getting up and walking over to the fridge "want something to drink?"

"No thanks, I don't understand girls," Seth said after a pause

"Okay, what don't you understand?" she asked reaching for a bottle of water

"Everything," Seth said "Can I go swimming?"

"I don't think so, honey, it's kind of late. Why don't you go and skateboard until Daddy comes home?"

"I guess," Seth sighed and walked outside. He opened the garage and took out his skateboard. But he didn't really feel like it. But he knew that if he was going to go back inside he would get drilled by his mother.

"This sucks," he said as he back and forth in front of his driveway. He had been riding for ten minutes when he saw that there was someone sitting at the edge of Marissa's driveway watching him. He looked over and froze when he saw who it was. Summer.

"Hi, Cohen," she said as he walked over

"Summer," he said "What are you doing here?" he asked sitting down next to her.

"Waiting for my daddy to come pick me up,"

"Why are you not inside?" Seth asked clearly confused

"Because I told them my daddy was here, but he's not," she said quietly

"Okay," Seth said more confused then ever

"Because, I was there a long time and the have to have a family dinner and I didn't want to interrupt,"

"Oh, did you call your dad?"

"Uh-uh, he said he'd be here soon," she said sadly

"Okay, then," Seth said and sighed "Want me to wait with you?"

"No thanks Cohen," she said harshly

"Okay, just trying to help," Seth said and got up "No need to be rude," he walked off "If you change your mind, I'm going to go skate board in my back yard"

Seth was skating around the pool house, wondering what Summer's problem was. He had been totally nice to her, and yet she had been so rude.

"Cohen?" a tentative voice asked and Seth turned suddenly, falling off his skateboard.

"Summer," he said getting back up and skating towards her. "Decided to apologize maybe, or just wanted to be nasty to me some more?"

"I'm sorry," she said softly and he nodded. That was good enough for him.

"Want to wait with me?" he asked and she nodded. "Want to come inside?"

"Uh, can we? Will your parent's get mad?"

"Doubt it, but Ryan might," Seth joked but Summer didn't smile.

"Okay, then I'll just you know, go back to waiting in the driveway,"

"I was just kidding. Duh," he said smacking his forehead

"Oh,"

"Come on in, my mom will be thrilled to see you," he said and lead the way inside. Kirsten seemed surprised to see her but didn't say anything.

"Mom, can Summer stay with us until her dad comes to pick her up?"

"Of course," she said absentmindedly

"Great," he said rolling his eyes before motioning for her to follow him. They made their way upstairs and towards Seth's room. Ryan looked up and his mouth fell open.

"Hi, Ry," Seth said with a cheeky grin before leading summer into his room.

"Want to play video games?" he asked motioning to his Nintendo

"Okay," she said and they became involved in a passionate game.

"Hey, Seth, ready for…" Sandy trailed off when he noticed Summer "Summer, hey, are you staying for dinner?"

"Uh-uh" she said shaking her head. "I better call my dad,"

After Summer had called her dad, and he had promised to be there in five minutes, she and Seth stood outside waiting. Summer turned towards Seth with a grin. Then she leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. Seth's eyes widened when she pulled away.

"What was that?" he asked

"I don't know," she said mysteriously and then she kissed him softly again. When she pulled away she was smiling "Just wanted to know what it was like," then when she saw her dad's car pull away she smiled at him before running off. Leaving Seth to walk back into the house in a daze. He walked in just as Ryan was coming down the stairs.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked staring in confusion at his brother

"Yes," Seth said dreamily "want to hear a secret?"

"Okay," Ryan asked tentatively

"Summer just kissed me, twice," Seth said and then smiled at Ryan whose mouth was wide open before he ran into the kitchen to start eating dinner.

The next day at school, Seth was unsure of what to expect. He wondered if the kiss made them girlfriend and boyfriend.

"Hi Cohen, Luke," Summer greeted as she sat down, ignoring Samantha because she had forgotten her name.

"Summer, want to hear about my soccer practice yesterday?" Luke asked eagerly

"No, thanks," Summer said rolling her eyes "Hi Cohen," she said and grinned at Seth. Then under the table she grabbed his hand and squeezed it once before pressing her finger to her lip.

"Hi Sum," was all he said before putting his finger to his lip too. He wasn't sure where he and Summer stood but he knew that whatever happened things would definitely be interesting.

**Author's Note: Oh my god! I can't believe I actually finished this thing. It took me forever! I had total writers block, but I hope that you all like it. In case you can't tell it's totally a Seth/Summer story and a Ryan/Marissa. I've never really written a story that focused on Seth and Summer, so I totally need to find out if I'm doing this right. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


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